awakened woman, be patient…

awakened woman, be patient….

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nightfall

i dread the arrival of nightfall

the expectation of it all

deep, true, unavoidable love reaches for me as i

repel it

completely

with no effort whatsoever.

ego love

my ego screams in the face of love’s pure light.

“that is not enough!! i need more!!”

so love, being love, takes her in her arms like a belligerent child

and holds her

until she calms

love always wins.

dichotomy in me

….and it comes out of nowhere.

that hollow, heavy, cloudy, lack of everything feeling.  

it consumes me.  it shuts me down.

the bleakness encompasses my entire being.  makes me doubt.  makes me forget who i am.

i know, however, that this feeling wont last forever.  it never does.  though it threatens to.

but then, when i’ve almost surrendered, something magical happens.  

a spark

a beam

and then….

the light comes pouring back in.  and my heart and soul fill with it.

and i am grateful

and i am joyful

and i believe

and i remember

i’m so thankful for the relief.  the light.  

so thankful that i thank the dark.  

thank you empty, heavy, cloudy, lack of everything feeling

for without you, 

i wouldnt know the joy

of being blinded by love

A little Jen-spective

Time goes by, you learn, you grow. You realize…

One thing I realize lately is that silence is most often the best weapon in your arsenal when you find yourself in a disagreement about anything, important or otherwise.

  First of all….the people who would benefit most by the opening of their conditioned, under-exercised little minds to another point of view simply “can not handle the truth.”  Their lives just would not make the same comfortable kind of sense if they begin to comprehend a different perspective.  

 Secondly….. It turns out your example has so much more power than the words you use to explain yourself.  Words are powerful in their own right, but are often misconstrued and tend to take on different meanings altogether when passed through different filters.  Plus people become confused, frustrated and sometimes belligerent when you start talking over their heads.

 And third….the more life I live and the more I allow new perspectives to shape my experience, the less I care about your ability to understand me. If I have to work that hard, I’d rather just go hang out with someone  else…. Call me lazy!  Arguing is a waste of time and energy.

You can have your point.  And I’ll keep mine.

the same

if you see me today

you will fall in love with me

you will be mesmerized by my being

because today, i remember who i am

and i am here

for you to notice

so that you might remember also

you and i

we are the same

hello 2013

I’ve never been much of a New Years Resolution maker…partly because I consider myself a rebel of such traditions, partly because I just didnt want to work that hard!

2012 breezed in kind of unceremoniously, but has etched itself into the story of my life as a year of enormous change, rude awakenings and the most perfect moments.  I decided that, a year like this one has been, deserved to be ushered out a little more ceremoniously than it came in, to rebel against my status quo “rebelliousness” and make myself a list.  One of the things I have learned in 2012 is that dreams come true, but you gotta decide what it is you’re dreaming.  The universe does pretty well when left on her own, but throw a little intention in and watch the magic happen!

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2013

1. To start, this year I will believe in the impossible.  Because in 2012 I learned, that nothing is.

2. This year I intend to remember who I am, since i had forgotten for so long.

3. To dream bigger than the most gifted dreamers.

4. To define my life in my own terms.  It is mine, after all.

5. To write often.  It frees me.

6. To listen more.

7. To speak well thought out words and not waste my time or breath on anything less constructive than kind-hearted (but otherwise seemingly pointless) small talk.

8. To smell, the roses, the coffee, and everything in between.

9. To look at every situation as an opportunity for something amazing.

10. To give myself back to the world whole heartedly. To lift her up and make her better for letting me occupy space here.

11. (the perfect number of anything) To love everything.

Happy New Year (/Life)

love to everyone and everything ❤